Sunday, 31 August 2014

A promise to my blog

Dear Blog,

This summer I had it in my head that we would spend a lot of time together, there would be plenty of posts and smiles all round. It was not fault of yours it was all me. 
I didn't make the time to spend with you and I so wanted too, life seemed to get in the way.

I have neglected you for far to long, so I am making this promise to you and everyone can see it now that it is posted here. 

I'm going to spend some time here again hoping that I can get back in the swing of things. Yes it may be hard to find that bit of time now that I'm going back to work and the kids back to school. But I WILL find some time.

I've missed this little corner of the internet that I can call my own.

xxxx


End of summer

Well the summer has past by so fast this year, it seems to be going faster each year.
 

This summer we have enjoyed some time away on a family holiday even though I fell ill (that's happened two years in a row now) then the rest of the family dropped one by one with the same bug, even with this we still managed to enjoy out time away.
 We also got to celebrate 2 birthdays with my imp turning 7 and my eldest turning 11 I don't really know where the years have gone, it's scary how fast they grow up.
 

In the middle of this me and the Mr celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary, we have had our ups and down but I couldn't live without him.

We have managed to do all the school uniform shopping and get it all done without stress still not sure I'm really for my eldest to be starting high school and my imp moving into juniors. 

We are enjoying the last weekend of the holiday which means I'm going to busy sorting uniforms and getting myself ready to head back to work.  

Roll on the early get ups and the manic mornings, I've enjoyed the holidays but I'm ready to get back I to a routine.

Monday, 23 June 2014

Anxiety.. me?



Last weekend I set out on my first trip to the big smoke alone. I dropped the kids at school and then made sure I had everything I needed packed and I headed out the the train station, I got my train and found my seat and I even blogged on the journey.

I arrived at Euston station after travelling  2 1/2hours from up north. I nervously got of the train and followed the way out signs on arriving in the hustle and bustle of the station.
Looking around trying to find where to go next all of a sudden I felt rooted the spot my heart pounding, my body starting to shake, my breathing becoming more frantic.
I  could hear my heart pounding but I couldn't do anything I was just stood there.

I kept telling myself to calm down, I could feel the tears ready to start rolling trying to hold them back I scanned the station looking for the sign to the underground  and slowly made my way to join the people around me who had no idea of the battle that was going on inside me.

Scared of going down those escalators knowing that soon I would be underground with no phone reception, know one to help me. My hands shaking as I looked at the map trying to find where I needed to go. Focus is what I kept saying to myself, you can do it. 

Proud to say that I did manage to get on the right tube even though my was shaking and scared I wasn't on the right one and who would help me if I got lost... Those 3 stops before I had to get off felt like a life time (yes just 3). 
Knowing I was at the right station made me feel better but only once I have exited the tube station did I take a deep breath and let a few tears roll "I did it!", "I did it!" and doing a small happy dance inside.

What I did forget while I was in the big smoke was I would have to make that same journey back.....

It started to build up a few hours before my train was due to leave I even thought about just getting a taxi to Euston and not taking the tube at all but a friend told me I could do it she encouraged me to take the tube I was so nervous already and told her she couldn't leave me but unfortunately she had to take a different line and then all of a sudden I was on my own again, hands shaking, heart pounding for the whole 3 stops. Arriving at Euston and getting back to the hustle and bustle I just needed to sit and calm myself down. I grabbed some food and found some where to sit, my whole body shaking made it difficult for me to eat and in the end I didn't eat much as I felt so sick. 

There was still a whole hour to wait for my train back up north, there were so many people around I stood shaking until the screen showed me what platform I needed to head to. It was a long journey home and well I didn't feel good all the way home. I just wanted it to hurry up so i could be some where I felt safe, I wanted to be home. Even tho I had an awesome weekend.

I have never suffered from anxiety before so all this was a complete shock to me, I think I will look into it a little more. 

x


Friday, 20 June 2014

On my way to Britmums Live 2014

Well I cant believe it has come round so quick, I have packed re packed and checked and checked again and again. I think I am ready to go...Well it's a bit to late if I have forgotten anything as I am currently sat on the train to the big smoke! 
This is the first time that I have travelled to London by myself and I'm feeling nervous about it. I am proud that I have managed to get on the right train and hopefully arrive in to Euston a little less nervous than I am right now.
Sat looking out the window watching the world whizz by. It feels kind of strange that I have left my family to fend for themselves... will they cope??? I'm sure that they will and I know there will be fun had.

We have just passed our last stop, the next stop will be London eeekkk.
A few butterflies are going around in my tummy.

I've asked myself what the hell am I doing a few times already.

Theres no turning back, if you do seem me please make sure that you say hello. 

Right going to check my case one more time... yes on the train.

Tuesday, 3 June 2014

Bit of a mind dump



So yesterday it was back to school and work after halfterm. 
It was while I was on the school run chatting to one of my friends she said "I've never seen you so stressed out before." 
She was right I've been feeling crap for a few days letting the weight if the world weigh me down. 
Halfterm should have been something to enjoy, spending time with the kids. But I didn't really enjoy it this time… 
Why? I'm not really sure. I know I was lacking some motivation and then looking at the house knowing there was (and still is) a lot to do. 

It's hard trying to manage working and all the stuff at home too. 

I think that's what made me feel so low I feel like a failure as a mum, wife and being me. 
I take my hat off to those mums who manage to work and keep their home looking spotless.
There was also arguing between my girls and that winds me up at times. My tween is acting like a full blown teenager and wow it's hard to cope with at times. Her favourite thing to say at the moment is 'For gods sake!' She loves to slam doors and speaks to her sister in a not nice way. 
They just don't seem to get at all at the moment and at times I'm the one that's ready to blow a fuse. This halfterm they have been in top form with pushing my buttons, I know that it's only going to get worse once she goes to high school. 
There are times when they are so nice to each other but the arguing out weighs the mixed times at the moment. 

I was glad to get back in to a routine and to have a 'break' from the kids with them now back at school. 
There is still so much to do at home and would love for the cleaning fairies to turn up and give me a helping hand. But we all know that won't happen. 
I'm tired when I come home from work the to cook and then start cleaning is the last thing I want to do.


I need to find a way to balance everything.


*Takes a deep breath in and then out* 

Sunday, 1 June 2014

Halfterm fun at Go Ape

Well with half term coming to an end we decided to head out and have some fun. We decided that we would head to Go Ape, who wouldn't love swinging from the trees pretending to be monkeys???

Me! I whimped out but I wouldn't have been able to get all these great pictures if I had done it. 

There are different types of Go Ape adventures, we did the Tree Top Junior adventure. It's ages at 6 to 12 years old. So perfect for my two to have lots of fun. I wasn't sure how my youngest would cope with it as she doesn't really like nights. My eldest I knew would love it at she really likes outdoor stuff especially since she went on a PGL trip with school. 

As you can see from the pictures they sure had lots of fun, there was staff on hand to help with any problems. 
There are two trails on the Tress Top Junior Adventure a short one called number 1 which they ask you to do if you have never done it before, it is quite and easy one and then they you course number two which is more difficult that the first one and it goes higher. 
I wasn't surprised to see my youngest a little nervous about it all and I did see her hugging the tree once she had gone over a tricky bit. I was down on the ground shouting up support to her and she soon started to really enjoy it. My eldest was loving it and soon went off ahead of the Mr and imp she kept shouting down to me and waving telling me how awesome it was. I on the other hand was fighting off the midges in the woods while trying to take some photos/video. There were times I almost fell over stump or got caught up in some branches.

Watching them jump of a platform to swing along the zip wire was fun, the imp looked so scared to take that leap but she did it and I was so proud. The first course is shorter but you can go on either of the courses as many times as you want/can in the allotted time that you have.

It was so nice to see them all enjoying some high flying fun!
Check out the video at the bottom of this post I filmed some footage.













This is not a sponsored post



Friday, 9 May 2014

Treasure Trail

We wanted to do something fun with the girls that appealed to both of them, so we decided we would go on a 


Treasure Trails are fun and unique way for you to get outside and explore. They have over 1,100 Treasure Trails throughout the UK.

We have used a few of these so far in the last year and they have always turned out to be great not only lots of fun but also educational (shh don't tell the kids).
They are a great way of spending time with the family and they have a range of themes from 
Treasure Hunts, Spy Mission and Murder Mystery.

I recently had a look for one in the Manchester area that would be suitable for our family. Here are some snaps from our day.


The girls ready to go with the Hunt
Reading the mission



Looking at the first clue

Albert Square 

Yay first clue found!

On to the next one.

Crossing off the clues as we find them.

L with Abe


Looking High and low for answers to the clues.

Making and anagram to work out an answer

I'm sure theres a clue here somewhere.

Found another one

The one we needed help with.

The last picture if quite funny really we spent ages looking for the answer to a clue, we had spent sometime looking for it. In the front of the guide if gives you a number you can txt for free to help give you a clue to what your looking for.  
After receiving a txt back we couldn't believe where it was it was right under our noses. 

I really do love doing these treasure trails, you get to see a town/city in a different way, we saw sights of Manchester that we wouldn't normally go to and they were like hidden gems.

I'm looking forward to the next one that we will do, I wonder where it will be??