Saturday, 15 November 2014

Feeling festive VLOG

Felt like vlogging a little bit today so here you go.

Friday, 14 November 2014

Why don't I blog more???

Well the simple answer to that for me is... I do I have endless draft posts hidden away that Im to afraid to hit publish. There are times where I write and then when I re read I delete it all, I second guess myself, I don't hit publish out of fear of what others may say. 

I know that I shouldn't feel like that but I do. I'm a grown woman and I shouldn't be worried about what others think of me or of what I say. But to be honest and this is the place where I can be truly honest. I do care what others people think or say about me. 

I'm not the best of writers I hold my hand up to that but I do put my heart in to each post that I do write. I don't get review opportunities like other bloggers do, not that I wouldn't mind them :o) I don't get the chance to go to all these fab events that are normally head during the day as I work and then when I’m not working I have a million and one things.

Blogging is always on my mind as I love it, I just wish I had the time and confidence to hit post when I do find something I want to post about and on the drafts that are sitting gathering cyber dust and to not hit the delete button.

Sometimes this little corner of the inter webs feels like a rather lonely place…

I want it to be a place where people enjoy to visit.

Friday, 7 November 2014

Holding back the tears.

So  here I am holding back the tears... why?
I have just been told that Someone doesn't like me.
They don't care how they make me feel.
They don't care how they treat me.

I bet your wondering who this may be??? 

My daughter....

I thought we were getting somewhere with these meltdown, that we had made a break through.
Is this really part of growing up? Part of her adjusting to  being at high school? Is it just hormones.. The answer is most likely yes to all of those.

This parenting thing is hard right now....

I'm sure I probably did they same thing to my mum but I cant really remember doing it. 

It sure does hurt and I know deep down that she doesn't really think that I don't like her and im sure she know I would do anything for her.

It just hurts.....

Still holding back the tears.  

Friday, 24 October 2014

A nice day for a stroll

We decided to take a walk in a local area that I have never really been to. 
The kids have been there a few times when its snowed to go sledging. It's meant to be a beautiful place so we headed out with the kids even though they were protesting that they didn't really want to go anywhere.

"It's fresh air." is all I could say and "People spend far to much time sat indoors and on technology." I had the sudden thought I sounded really old when I said that and I'm sure my girls thought that too.

Anyway with grumpy kids in the car we headed off to enjoy the "fresh air" I had been telling them they needed. On the approach the imp said "I'm not walking all the way up that hill!" that then set the eldest of saying she wasn't going to get out he car. We parked up and I was really looking forward to just some outdoors time. I posted recently here about just stopping and taking time to look at the things around us. I wanted us as a family to enjoy the things we most often take for granted.

With the camera in tow and two not so happy kids we headed off to see what was there. Here are some snaps that I took 

It was such a beautiful day the sun was shining and it was warm, I had over dressed wearing a hoody and a coat. I was fascinated with the sky in this shot, the photo didn't do it justice. There were sheep in the field at the top, the girls raced to see how many there were.

We did encounter some of these along our walk, which the imp loved to climb.

I don't know what it is with my girls but love climbing trees and getting dirty. They would spend hours just exploring, as you can tell the kids were now enjoying the 'fresh air' I had been banging on about.

Even with the grey clouds rolling in it was beautiful to see how high up we were and trying to figure out which direction we lived in from the views around.

We came across this bridge and I couldn't wait to get some shots with the sunlight coming through, this probably isn't the best shot but I like it.

From this point things went down hill when the imp ran to her dad and slipped and fell, bumping her knee and grazing her hand. The eldest was starting to moan so I said we could start heading back and we could grab a drink from the barn.
The walk was a little quicker on the way back as it was downhill, we didn't really want to head home so, out came a ball from the boot of the car and we started to have some fun kicking it around. My eldest asked to use my DSLR to take some pictures of her own and I have to say she didn't do a bad job. 

I took over the camera and grabbed a few shots of them all in the trees I shall call this next photo 

The Three Monkey's 

I think we all had a great time and cant wait to head back and explore some more.

Thursday, 2 October 2014

A Lego obsession

A bit of an obsession within our house.
What is that obsession I hear you ask?????
Its those blooming plastic block that if you stand on them they can make even the most manly man cry.. 

That it your right its LEGO!!

Ever since the Lego Movie came out not only my kids but my hubby has become a little addicted to those blocks. So much so we are running out of space to put them and I was getting tired of it being all over the floor.

We came up with the idea of making some sort of table to use when the kids/hubby wanted to have some fun. I took to Pintrest to see what I could find and I came across the idea of a Lego table. 

We thought this would be a fab idea and away we went. Hubby was rather excited and took to the Internet to find a table that was big enough but also fold able so it could be stored away when it's not being used.

The perfect table was found at Costco our next this was to get the base boards from the Lego shop, lucky enough hubby works near a Lego shop and as he spends so much time in the store he picked up the boards.

Here we are already go!

As you may be able to see from the photo we decided to try and use a glue gun to stick the boards down on to the table... This was a huge fail!! 
 We needed to use something stronger so a trip to B & Q sorted that out and we got some kind of adhesive. (I'm not sure what it was hubby was in charge of that)

There were measurements made... not by me, I'm sure you can guess who was in charge of this project lol. Once we had the pieces in their place we used Lego to keep them all connected and in place.

Here is the table with everything in it's place, being held down by Lego.

After about 3 days and we were happy all the adhesive had dried we took the bits of Lego off and stood with a brew in hand admiring the creation we had made.

The whole family have been enjoying the table and its good to have the bricks off the floor. Hubby has enjoyed it the most I think as he has been busy creating photos for his Instagram account. Here's a picture that he's rather proud of you can check out more of his pictures over on Instagram his username is pie_eater81

I hope you enjoyed our craft post it was a fun thing to make and I'm sure that it will be used a lot.

Sunday, 28 September 2014

Sometimes you just need to sit and be quiet

I took some time just to sit and listen to the world around me last weekend. 

After a busy week at work and dealing with home life and kids the weekend seemed to be whizzing by at such a pace I needed to just stop.

The birds were talking to each other, the wind was blowing the leaves and even the cows were mooing in the field.
The sun was still warm shining through the trees...

For a moment all the worries, stress, sadness were gone.

I felt at peace, like I belonged. 

Sometimes we all need to just sit and not think so much, just take a look at the world around us and not be caught up in the madness of life.

I challenge you to try it, I know I will be doing this again soon. 


Monday, 15 September 2014

Another meltdown

Well for a while we have been experiencing meltdowns with my eldest. But lately I'm getting upset listening to her and the things that are making her upset...

My heart just breaks a little more with each thing she's worrying about. 

Tonight she told me she doesn't know how to deal with the emotions that she's feeling.

We have talked about how her body is changing and hormones can be to blame, we talked about a ways where we don't always end up shouting and screaming at each other.
 She's worried about being a good person and wants to be better person but she doesn't know how. She's worried about being a good role model for her younger sister and also she a worrying about what other people think of her.  

She went on a weekend away with her new school and she was nervous about it on the day she was going (Friday) she said the thought of going was making her feel ill and she was going to miss us. She went to France and a week away with her primary school and was fine.
I held back the tears while trying to tell her that she is an amazing person even thought she has her little breakdowns every now and again I love her with all my heart.
She has dealt with leaving primary school and starting high school so well. I'm so proud of her.
She is so down on herself at the moment and I don't know how to pick her up or even the right words to say to her. 

To me she is still my baby and want to make everything OK for her. But I don't know how other than telling her she's amazing and that I love her. To see her sobbing and how vulnerable she is really makes me sad. 

Sunday, 31 August 2014

A promise to my blog

Dear Blog,

This summer I had it in my head that we would spend a lot of time together, there would be plenty of posts and smiles all round. It was not fault of yours it was all me. 
I didn't make the time to spend with you and I so wanted too, life seemed to get in the way.

I have neglected you for far to long, so I am making this promise to you and everyone can see it now that it is posted here. 

I'm going to spend some time here again hoping that I can get back in the swing of things. Yes it may be hard to find that bit of time now that I'm going back to work and the kids back to school. But I WILL find some time.

I've missed this little corner of the internet that I can call my own.


End of summer

Well the summer has past by so fast this year, it seems to be going faster each year.

This summer we have enjoyed some time away on a family holiday even though I fell ill (that's happened two years in a row now) then the rest of the family dropped one by one with the same bug, even with this we still managed to enjoy out time away.
 We also got to celebrate 2 birthdays with my imp turning 7 and my eldest turning 11 I don't really know where the years have gone, it's scary how fast they grow up.

In the middle of this me and the Mr celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary, we have had our ups and down but I couldn't live without him.

We have managed to do all the school uniform shopping and get it all done without stress still not sure I'm really for my eldest to be starting high school and my imp moving into juniors. 

We are enjoying the last weekend of the holiday which means I'm going to busy sorting uniforms and getting myself ready to head back to work.  

Roll on the early get ups and the manic mornings, I've enjoyed the holidays but I'm ready to get back I to a routine.

Monday, 23 June 2014

Anxiety.. me?

Last weekend I set out on my first trip to the big smoke alone. I dropped the kids at school and then made sure I had everything I needed packed and I headed out the the train station, I got my train and found my seat and I even blogged on the journey.

I arrived at Euston station after travelling  2 1/2hours from up north. I nervously got of the train and followed the way out signs on arriving in the hustle and bustle of the station.
Looking around trying to find where to go next all of a sudden I felt rooted the spot my heart pounding, my body starting to shake, my breathing becoming more frantic.
I  could hear my heart pounding but I couldn't do anything I was just stood there.

I kept telling myself to calm down, I could feel the tears ready to start rolling trying to hold them back I scanned the station looking for the sign to the underground  and slowly made my way to join the people around me who had no idea of the battle that was going on inside me.

Scared of going down those escalators knowing that soon I would be underground with no phone reception, know one to help me. My hands shaking as I looked at the map trying to find where I needed to go. Focus is what I kept saying to myself, you can do it. 

Proud to say that I did manage to get on the right tube even though my was shaking and scared I wasn't on the right one and who would help me if I got lost... Those 3 stops before I had to get off felt like a life time (yes just 3). 
Knowing I was at the right station made me feel better but only once I have exited the tube station did I take a deep breath and let a few tears roll "I did it!", "I did it!" and doing a small happy dance inside.

What I did forget while I was in the big smoke was I would have to make that same journey back.....

It started to build up a few hours before my train was due to leave I even thought about just getting a taxi to Euston and not taking the tube at all but a friend told me I could do it she encouraged me to take the tube I was so nervous already and told her she couldn't leave me but unfortunately she had to take a different line and then all of a sudden I was on my own again, hands shaking, heart pounding for the whole 3 stops. Arriving at Euston and getting back to the hustle and bustle I just needed to sit and calm myself down. I grabbed some food and found some where to sit, my whole body shaking made it difficult for me to eat and in the end I didn't eat much as I felt so sick. 

There was still a whole hour to wait for my train back up north, there were so many people around I stood shaking until the screen showed me what platform I needed to head to. It was a long journey home and well I didn't feel good all the way home. I just wanted it to hurry up so i could be some where I felt safe, I wanted to be home. Even tho I had an awesome weekend.

I have never suffered from anxiety before so all this was a complete shock to me, I think I will look into it a little more. 


Friday, 20 June 2014

On my way to Britmums Live 2014

Well I cant believe it has come round so quick, I have packed re packed and checked and checked again and again. I think I am ready to go...Well it's a bit to late if I have forgotten anything as I am currently sat on the train to the big smoke! 
This is the first time that I have travelled to London by myself and I'm feeling nervous about it. I am proud that I have managed to get on the right train and hopefully arrive in to Euston a little less nervous than I am right now.
Sat looking out the window watching the world whizz by. It feels kind of strange that I have left my family to fend for themselves... will they cope??? I'm sure that they will and I know there will be fun had.

We have just passed our last stop, the next stop will be London eeekkk.
A few butterflies are going around in my tummy.

I've asked myself what the hell am I doing a few times already.

Theres no turning back, if you do seem me please make sure that you say hello. 

Right going to check my case one more time... yes on the train.

Tuesday, 3 June 2014

Bit of a mind dump

So yesterday it was back to school and work after halfterm. 
It was while I was on the school run chatting to one of my friends she said "I've never seen you so stressed out before." 
She was right I've been feeling crap for a few days letting the weight if the world weigh me down. 
Halfterm should have been something to enjoy, spending time with the kids. But I didn't really enjoy it this time… 
Why? I'm not really sure. I know I was lacking some motivation and then looking at the house knowing there was (and still is) a lot to do. 

It's hard trying to manage working and all the stuff at home too. 

I think that's what made me feel so low I feel like a failure as a mum, wife and being me. 
I take my hat off to those mums who manage to work and keep their home looking spotless.
There was also arguing between my girls and that winds me up at times. My tween is acting like a full blown teenager and wow it's hard to cope with at times. Her favourite thing to say at the moment is 'For gods sake!' She loves to slam doors and speaks to her sister in a not nice way. 
They just don't seem to get at all at the moment and at times I'm the one that's ready to blow a fuse. This halfterm they have been in top form with pushing my buttons, I know that it's only going to get worse once she goes to high school. 
There are times when they are so nice to each other but the arguing out weighs the mixed times at the moment. 

I was glad to get back in to a routine and to have a 'break' from the kids with them now back at school. 
There is still so much to do at home and would love for the cleaning fairies to turn up and give me a helping hand. But we all know that won't happen. 
I'm tired when I come home from work the to cook and then start cleaning is the last thing I want to do.

I need to find a way to balance everything.

*Takes a deep breath in and then out* 

Sunday, 1 June 2014

Halfterm fun at Go Ape

Well with half term coming to an end we decided to head out and have some fun. We decided that we would head to Go Ape, who wouldn't love swinging from the trees pretending to be monkeys???

Me! I whimped out but I wouldn't have been able to get all these great pictures if I had done it. 

There are different types of Go Ape adventures, we did the Tree Top Junior adventure. It's ages at 6 to 12 years old. So perfect for my two to have lots of fun. I wasn't sure how my youngest would cope with it as she doesn't really like nights. My eldest I knew would love it at she really likes outdoor stuff especially since she went on a PGL trip with school. 

As you can see from the pictures they sure had lots of fun, there was staff on hand to help with any problems. 
There are two trails on the Tress Top Junior Adventure a short one called number 1 which they ask you to do if you have never done it before, it is quite and easy one and then they you course number two which is more difficult that the first one and it goes higher. 
I wasn't surprised to see my youngest a little nervous about it all and I did see her hugging the tree once she had gone over a tricky bit. I was down on the ground shouting up support to her and she soon started to really enjoy it. My eldest was loving it and soon went off ahead of the Mr and imp she kept shouting down to me and waving telling me how awesome it was. I on the other hand was fighting off the midges in the woods while trying to take some photos/video. There were times I almost fell over stump or got caught up in some branches.

Watching them jump of a platform to swing along the zip wire was fun, the imp looked so scared to take that leap but she did it and I was so proud. The first course is shorter but you can go on either of the courses as many times as you want/can in the allotted time that you have.

It was so nice to see them all enjoying some high flying fun!
Check out the video at the bottom of this post I filmed some footage.

This is not a sponsored post

Friday, 9 May 2014

Treasure Trail

We wanted to do something fun with the girls that appealed to both of them, so we decided we would go on a 

Treasure Trails are fun and unique way for you to get outside and explore. They have over 1,100 Treasure Trails throughout the UK.

We have used a few of these so far in the last year and they have always turned out to be great not only lots of fun but also educational (shh don't tell the kids).
They are a great way of spending time with the family and they have a range of themes from 
Treasure Hunts, Spy Mission and Murder Mystery.

I recently had a look for one in the Manchester area that would be suitable for our family. Here are some snaps from our day.

The girls ready to go with the Hunt
Reading the mission

Looking at the first clue

Albert Square 

Yay first clue found!

On to the next one.

Crossing off the clues as we find them.

L with Abe

Looking High and low for answers to the clues.

Making and anagram to work out an answer

I'm sure theres a clue here somewhere.

Found another one

The one we needed help with.

The last picture if quite funny really we spent ages looking for the answer to a clue, we had spent sometime looking for it. In the front of the guide if gives you a number you can txt for free to help give you a clue to what your looking for.  
After receiving a txt back we couldn't believe where it was it was right under our noses. 

I really do love doing these treasure trails, you get to see a town/city in a different way, we saw sights of Manchester that we wouldn't normally go to and they were like hidden gems.

I'm looking forward to the next one that we will do, I wonder where it will be??

Thursday, 8 May 2014

An allergy?

I enjoy a cold glass of milk and could drink glass after glass.

But I wouldn't  give a glass to my eldest, if I did I would know about it. 

Well it all started nearly a year ago what I thought was nerves or just habit that she her mood would suddenly change, she would go pale, complain of being hot and needing to use the toilet. 
There were many time where me and the Mr would tell her there's nothing wrong with you. Or that it was a phase and she was just worrying about things. We would get frustrated at the fact she would just suddenly say she needed the toilet or felt unwell anywhere and sometimes had to hunt down a toilet.

After a while I took her to see the Dr and get some advice. They couldn't tell me what was wrong so they referred me to see the paediatrician. 
Who told us that she seemed to have an over active bowel meaning that when she ate her brain would tell her bowel to 'clear out' there's more coming and her bowel would go into spasm.  Leaving her in quite a bit of pain and upset. We were sent away and told to increase roughage in her diet and that yogurts could help her gut with it having good bacteria and that she may just grow out of it but it could be a few years. In my mind I was screaming a few years??? I cant cope and neither can she!

It was only when we had done as we were told that we noticed a pattern in the pain and sickness and moods.
Every time she had cereal and milk she would complain and it made it hard getting ready for the school run and getting out on time. There were tears and frustration nearly every morning. So I kind of thought that it could be the milk that is upsetting her tummy and I did that thing that you aren't supposed to do... Yup I googled. I swapped milk of almond milk and yogurts for soya ones to see what would happens and if there was any differences. 

We did notice a change in her, her tummy didn't seem as upset and she seemed happier. So almond milk is now a staple in my shopping basket along with soya yogurts, milk free chocolate and cheese. 
There were slight hiccups as we can't control what is in food when we eat out. Which often led to tears at the table. She was scared to ask for things with out ice cream or cream etc. There have been times when we just haven't realised that things could have milk in its only she she starts to feel unwell that we'd realise. Now we check packaging when doing the food shop to make sure the food she has are milk free.

I went back to see our Dr with the knowledge that we had gained of swapping things around. I also wanted to know if she has an allergy.  So again we were referred back to see the paediatrician which we saw this week. He is very nice and asked lots of questions and we told him what had been going on and how we had noticed a pattern. 

He said he didn't think that it was a lactose issue but maybe a milk protein issue. But he was unsure as she wasn't showing some of the main 'symptoms.'
I asked if there was a way he could test to see if there is an allergy and he said yes it's called a RAST TEST. Which involves taking a blood test. L looked at me a little worried as she's never had a blood test before and coped with it well, telling me that it tickled yes she says the stingiest of things haha. The paediatrician then went on to tell me the results will either come back positive or negative and we will then take it from there.

We will have to wait a few weeks for the results. I asked what if it comes back negative? 

Then he said we could maybe try and give her milk or I can just keep her dairy free for a few years then try again to introduce milk back into her diet and see how her body deals with it. They would also put us in touch with a dietitian so we can get some advice on still giving her a good healthy diet.

What if the results come back positive?
Nothing different really they would put us in touch with a dietitian so we can get some advice in still giving her a good healthy diet. 

So now we play the waiting game hopefully we will get some answers.

I do think that no matter what the result is, it will be best to keep her dairy free as she seems better/happier that way. We just want to know so we can make it easier on L.

Is there anyone else out there who has been through the same thing?